patty potential

patty is a grocery store goddess
produce section waif apparition
in iceberg lettuce mists
jaundiced yellow half-light of
an eclipsed sun on her hair

she breezes by me in jeans
pink tank top
her assumed southern drawl
i glanced her smoky photo
in the academy players directory
ingénue, she’s called
her sister’s in there under leading women

richard dreyfuss on the phone at amy’s
and i’m a homeless author
collecting food stamps and
falling in love
with crooked-toothed
beauties of the silver screen
and why the hell not?
the tv is a window I can
crawl through
because I often do

ten years with the sheens
family dinner with mary crosby
kelly preston small talk and jacket swap
robert downey jr. to breakfast in venice
i am no stranger to celebrity
why not patricia?

i made a bet one night
in a mountain town kitchen
among actors, some working some not
that i could lick waif patty’s crooked teeth
before my thirtieth birthday

it’s not as crude as it sounds
just an instigator
a spoken goal
to keep me moving forward
happy in low times
when money is too tight for eating
and the x-girlfriend is in bed with a
heroin junky ex-con
and cackling in my dreams

then i can pull patty
from my treasure chest writer’s mind
run with her in some detroit ghetto
and shoot bad guys for her love
dance with her

kissing her silver screen
cocaine white smile
i will grin a cheshire cat grin

patty’s words reverberate in my liquid ears
like waves in coastal caves
and soon I’ll roll over in my
featherbed dream plateau
and sink my nose into her flaxen hair

ingénue you, patty
were made for brazen me
the b-word had to go her own way
to clear the path to my dreams

impossible dreams
are the dreams you have lived
and died for, died in
all other dreams are possible

patty is a possible dream
and potential oozes
from my ambient skull
screams for life
from the confines of an ink-stained
polystyrene whiskey dream machine

mazzy star tracks my rainbow-petaled
lotus explosion
my blossoming heart
tracks it with songs of
breathy self-love

there is no changing a god
zeus stood erect in his folly
hera in hers
and athena swaggers in my memory
as tough a jd drinking bitch
as ever i’ve known
i can love goddess patty
having first loved me

to embrace icons of culture
we must go to bed alone
walk clouds in size 14 dream sneakers
must open up our skulls
like dilated wombs
must reach beyond barriers of intellect
abandon intellect
soar with beer-drinking buddhas
hug silk-smooth madrone trees

i dreamt a dream of blood-ripe
cranberry trees and
sugar sand dunes
that soaked up their sanguine juice

it was sugar love in a shady grove
a candy cabin
and patty stood on the porch
awaiting me
her catcher in the sky

cranberry ice cream smile patty
i love you
you are my lindy love and
brad will be our tavi
and together we will walk
where others only dream.

© Rick McKinney November 1994

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